Epona Lifeworks

THE SPOTTED STALLION

2011-01-01T06:33:00.000-08:00

The spotted stallion stood guard under the winter bare branches of the elm tree, gazing out across the adjacent pasture to the barn and paddock some 50 yds away. Three geldings and two mares rested in the paddock. His heart leapt with joy as he gazed came across the small brown mare whose belly was heavy with his foal. But it was the recently arrived speckled mare that held his gaze. She called out to him, but he did not answer. Something about her reminded him of his soul mate, the chestnut mare, passed away some two years now. He snaked and tossed his magnificent head of silver locks and paced restlessly in a circle before pausing under the elm once more.

Suddenly his ears perked and he turned away from the mares to watch the woman walk up the hill towards him where he stood between the gnarled roots of the elm. She paused about twenty feet away and smiled saying 'hey bud', beckoning the stallion with her eyes. He walked forward, ears pricked with interest, his soulful brown eyes gazing into that of the woman's twinkling green ones. He nuzzled the front of her dusty coat in welcome. His soft nose gently checked her hands for treats or the scent of the little brown or the speckled mare. He licked her hand lightly once and then stepped forward to lay his head lovingly against her shoulder. The two shared a moment out of time, where hearts connect.

Stepping back he shook himself and sighed. The woman sighed also, the days' worries lifting from her heart. She fingered a lock of his mane, sparkling like sunlight dancing on waves. The stallion turned and slowly walked back to his post under the elm, licking and chewing. The woman asked the stallion why his mind was on spring when it was only just Christmas. He threw his head up and yawned three times in blissful contentment. The woman smiled knowingly and walked away.

by: Laurinda Rheinhart, Snow Camp, NC
Printed from Horse Conscious Newsletter

Explaining the Work

2010-12-30T06:35:00.000-08:00

How do you explain the connective work done between horse and human? As a good friend of mine said, it is much like trying to describe the color red to a blind man. There is no intellectualizing the process, as it is an inner knowing, a feeling, a series of sensations. Your work will look nothing like the work of another person's. It all sounds a bit woo-woo but "hard" science is supporting the work of heart energy, entrainment and compassion connection between sentient beings and its effect on our health, both mental and physical. The fact that horses have had to rely on intuition and emotion throughout the ages makes them sages in the work of the heart and spirit. Your "conversation" with a horse is an intuitive, energetic dance. No words are conveyed, only feelings, something that we humans have been taught to keep under wraps. Is it no wonder that we suffer from the emotional pain we do? When we begin to trust in our inner knowing, we begin to navigate the world in an entirely different way. Horses are the consummate facilitators of this amazing work.

The Dream of Angels

2010-08-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

We had met through a social network. We briefly talked on the phone and she said she would love to see my horse, River. I picked her up at a neighborhood grocery store on a warm summer morning, anticipating a friendship with someone who shared my love of horses.

As she arranged herself in the passenger seat of my SUV, I asked her about her work, her life. She was hesitant, at first, and nervously moved in the seat, looked out the window. No, she hadn't worked in awhile. As I had a connection in her field of expertise, I offered to make a call. No, she couldn't work right now. It was personal, she said. More silence. Suddenly, her mask began to crack and it all came tumbling out. She could not face people, she said. She suffered from post traumatic stress disorder, had been betrayed by a sociopath husband, had been betrayed by her whole family. She had lost everyone she knew, her business, and her home. She had done extensive research on sociopaths, felt that she saw them everywhere. It was her duty to heal those in need, those who had been preyed upon by these ruthless people, as she herself had been.

I quickly realized that I was totally out of my league. I had picked up a woman I barely knew and was experiencing her emotional meltdown in my car. I remembered my training as a life coach: know when coaching ended and therapy began. I had cleared overstepped my bounds and had no idea how to turn back. So I drove on. And listened.

She became more and more emotionally distraught. Then, as I pulled into the driveway and saw River round the corner of the barn, she suddenly stopped.

"He's beautiful. May I brush him?" she said.

I was nervous. River had been abused and neglected. I was afraid how he would respond to this woman who was clearly not in a good space. And to top it off, he hated being brushed.

"Sure," I said, not knowing how else to respond. As I brought over the brush and a curry comb, I tried to explain what a sensitive horse River was, that he had been severely abused and usually did not enjoy grooming.

She looked at him with tenderness.

"You poor thing," she whispered, and went about brushing his long neck. All the while, she talked more about her situation and her plight to save the world. She brushed, and brushed, and brushed. And with each long stroke, and with each sentence she spoke, my lovely gelding's head drooped into a quiet doze. Her voice cracked with emotion.

"I am broken," she said. "I am so broken."

I stood in awe as this "broken" woman spoke her truth, in honesty and clear emotion, and my sweet horse absorbed her pain and released it. His head was near the ground. She began to cry softly.

"River has accepted you totally and unconditionally, which he doesn't do with all people," I told her. "He doesn't think you are broken at all. He is comfortable in your truth. Remember, he was a victim as well, and he knows your pain."

A smile broke through her tears and she hugged me.

"Can I come back to see him sometime?" she asked.

I didn't hesitate in my response.

"Of course," I said.

Magic had just happened as my beautiful horse dozed, dreaming the dream of angels.

Creative EmPOWERment in the Woods Retreat October 25-30

2010-07-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

Please join us at Shadowood Lodge, October 25 -30 for our Creative EmPOWERment in the Woods Retreat.

What is creative empowerment?

It is about fearlessness to live a life without the shackles of insecurity. It is the courage to be who we are, who we want to be and still embrace those parts of ourselves that we would rather not look at. After all, these parts our ourselves have been our greatest teachers. To embrace life, to stretch ourselves, to sing and dance to the tune of the soul, these are our joys. Life is a poem waiting to happen and we hold the quill.

To begin, one must surround oneself with strength and optimism and not negativity. We are who we create through our attention. We must have trust that life was meant to be lived fully and only WE know what that means for ourselves. We are constantly running to self-help books and perceived gurus...running--that is what we do...when, in actuality, the answers, if we care to listen, are with us all the time. Our highest, most truthful and loving wisdom, is there hovering over our shoulder, picking us up when we fall, wiping our tears when we cry, holding us softly as we sleep and celebrating joyously when we succeed.

Creative empowerment is finding and integrating with that wisdom, the highest YOU, amidst the noise and confusion and "shoulds" of the world.

Welcome home!

For information, please contact candice@eponalifeworks.com.
Photo by Christopher Hayden

Communicating with the Horse

2010-07-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

Communication is a two way street. As we try to determine our horse's personality and read his body language, the horse has already figured us out holistically. He has not just relied on our body language, our verbal language, or the smile on our face. He has a far more infinite way of tuning into just exactly who we are and he may just have a better idea of who we are than we do.

So what is intelligence? And where does it live? We used to think that intelligence lived in the brain but we now know that it lives in every single cell. And intelligence is processed in different areas of the body and loops through different areas of the brain. Our cognitive cortex is the new kid on the block. It allows us to do complex math, verbalize, be self-aware. It is what makes us "human". But far more ancient is the reptilian brain which processes our instinct, reproductive drive, hunger, thirst, respiration and heart rate. And the limbic section of the brain which deals with intuition and emotion. These two sections are shared by all mammals.

As prey animals, horses rely heavily on the limbic brain for information. They sense the situation, the energy flow, the "feel" and respond accordingly. The herd hierarchy quickly conveys the message and information has traveled at an optimum speed to assure safety.

So, what kind of information does the horse receive from us? Far more than we might be aware of ourselves. When we enter the horse's field of awareness, he has already assessed who we are and what our intentions may be. Coupled with the context of what that horse's experience with humans has been in the past, this creates the pattern of how we will interact. Despite the smile on our face, the horse reads the tension in our system, the level of electromagnetic energy we are carrying around with us, and gets a sense of who we are and how we will affect his safety. If we are carrying around some intense energy, if the smile on our face belies the erratic rate of our heart do to frustration or just a bad day, he will sense that we are not safe to be around. And his defensive patterns will kick in.

The Institute of Heart Math suggests a great way to ease a conflicted energy "bubble" that we may be carrying around with us. They call it the "Freeze Frame" technique which gets us out of our cognitive head and gets us more in tune with ourselves in a more integral way.

Recognizing stress is the first step. Take a mental timeout and put thoughts and feelings on hold. Shift your focus to the area of your heart, breathe in as if your breath is flowing through the center of your chest and out through your stomach, 4-5 seconds for each inhalation/exhalation and continue this through the next steps. Activate a positive feeling, either by calling up a feeling of appreciation or love for someone or something in your life. It is important to FEEL rather than THINK here. Notice any changes in your stress level. You are essentially pausing your "film" to take a closer look and incorporate a more positive feel. When you get adept at this approach, it generates a calming and balancing effect on your entire nervous system.

The horse responds to a harmonious environment. His safety and very life depend on it. When you come to the horse in a relaxed and emotionally congruent way, he will react with less defensive patterns and will be more likely to want to engage in a relationship. Managing your emotions is one of the key aspects to communicating in a constructive way with these incredibly vigilant animals. It is not what you DO but who you
ARE that he reads loud and clear.

The Solitary Mare

2010-07-02T07:07:00.000-07:00

Gracie after rescue

After putting aside horses for many years, I was suddenly thrust into a situation where my heart was captured once again.

"Gracie" had been abandoned. When we moved into our new neighborhood and connected with our neighbors, we became aware of two abandoned horses at a ranch down the street. The homeowners had never occupied the property, the managers of the ranch had been fired. Yet two, living, breathing animals had been left behind: one beautiful, friendly buckskin stallion and one not-so-friendly, independent, ornery and wild sorrel mare. As each of us fed them carrots and apples and the occasional flake of hay, I wondered how this could happen. I called animal control to find we had created a catch-22. Because the neighborhood had rallied to feed these beautiful animals, they could not be seized for cruelty or neglect. The owners, living in another city, claimed to be finding them homes. Then, one day, the buckskin was gone. The little sorrel mare was left to fend for herself. As she had the reputation of being wild and dangerous, she did not glean as much support from the neighborhood.

I continued to be captivated.

One day I saw a man in the pasture. I approached and he told me he had been contacted by the owner and asked to feed and water the mare until she could be placed. The owner was convinced that this wild girl could capture quite a price. I looked down at her splayed hooves which had obviously not been attended to in years, if ever.

"Who would buy her?" I asked.

"Nobody," he answered.

I looked into those soulful eyes and just knew that she and I had a connection. I told the man I would help him by doing the feeding. He agreed and told me that he would help me by trying to get her under halter and gentle her. Day after day, I would go out to the overgrown pasture and place a scoop of grain into a bucket and sit patiently nearby. As I had been feeding her carrots and apples, we had forged an agreement. She would come to eat if I would calmly keep my distance. Each day, I eased a few inches closer to the feed bucket. Each day, she would eat with both eyes fixed on me, waiting for any potential movement. And each day, the man would come out and show me how to breathe and wait, wait, wait. The site of the halter made her turn on her heals. And so we waited.

One glorious spring evening I rode my bike down to her pasture. As I approached, I saw something new in her eyes. I slipped through the slats in the fence toward the feed and she followed closely. I could feel her breath against my back. I was floating on air. She had finally accepted me.

After she ate her grain with me silently watching her in my usual position, I slowly walked out to the pasture. She followed. I sat down on the ground and just watched, softening my eyes, trying to tell her how much I understood. After my divorce, I "divorced" myself from more than my husband. I left a life that didn't serve me and friendships that weren't genuine. I had settled into a life where I was learning who I was after so many years of being in context to someone else: mother, wife, room-mother, Brownie leader. Who was I?

I was a solitary mare. Kind, independent, generous, free....

"Grace" I whispered to her. "Your name is Grace."

She came over to me, bent her front knees and gently laid down next to me. I put my head against her rising and falling belly. We had come home to each other.

Father's Day

2010-06-19T07:04:00.000-07:00

As a child who grew up without a present father, I often have ambivalent feelings around Father's Day. But I realized that the holiday didn't have to be a celebration of my own biological father, but of ALL fathers -- and "present" men who mentor in a fatherly role. What I may have lacked in biological connection, I experienced through the loving presence of my father-in-law, my ex who is a phenomenal father to our children and also a good and trusted friend, my boyfriend, who came into a relationship with a divorcee (me) with two challenging 'tweens, his step father who I have adopted as my own. Ha! We fight over who gets more hugs from Rod! I have been blessed with a "fatherly" presence, despite my own biological lack thereof.

So, here's to all the fathers, biological or otherwise, who bring their strength and wisdom into our lives. We honor you for your dedication and unconditional love.

What's Up With This "Feminine Power" Stuff?

2010-06-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

I met with a lovely friend yesterday who voiced her dismay over the plethora of "feminine" empowerment information making the rounds these days.

"Isn't it just man-bashing?" she mused.

Well, move over, honey! This isn't your mamma's women's liberation movement. We aren't burning bras, demonstrating in the streets or making demands of male-based equality. This is what I have called the "men in skirts" syndrome. It has nothing to do with man-bashing, but everything to do with balance.

As we look out at our world, we see the need for a nurturing force. "Mother" Nature has been silenced, we are waging war, literally and figuratively, with everything and everyone around us. The unbalance has left us scurrying to put out fires, yet they pop up quicker than we can even acknowledge them. The disaster of yesterday becomes forgotten as we have a new disaster to deal with today.

Feminine spirit has nothing to do with gender. It has everything to do with balance. The call for a more feminine energy in the world is a call for a different way of "being" -- it is a call to balance our turmoil with ourselves and others with a nurturing, calm, intuitive voice. As always, the yang is destructive without the yin, as we clearly see in the world around us. And so it would be ineffective if the yin was the predominant force without the more forceful yang. A complete, effective society and world -- and individual -- requires a balance of both.

But, for far too long, we have lived in a world that has left quiet reason and intuition in the dust for faster, louder, better, more, more...more.... The head has left the heart behind. The tipping point is here, the time now. The "feminine" voice must be heard, whether that voice comes from a male or female body, in order to heal a badly broken world. Competition for worldly goods has no use when those goods are eventually depleted. Money has no value when the soul is dry.

So, my dears, there is indeed a need for "feminine power". I prefer to speak my truth with my bra intact, thank you very much. And I love the men who "get" that. They are out there, believe me. They are embracing that nurturing spirit as much as women are. True feminine spirit doesn't "bash" -- we enfold.

Painting by my good friend, Debbie Arnold.
http://www.arnoldfineart.com/

Creative Workshop A-Brewin'!

2010-06-11T07:57:00.000-07:00

How does a week in the gorgeous Blue Ridge Mountains on the cusp of Pisgah National Forest sound to you? How does experiencing nature amid the blaze of autumn foliage with people of like mind, hiking, canoeing, sharing sound? Does playing with concepts such as intuitive painting, exploring the power of intention, goddess sculpting, a positive psychology workshop, and reflective equine assisted experiential self awareness work intrigue you? Then be prepared for the first ever Epona Lifeworks EmPOWERment in the Woods workshop, Oct. 24 through the 30 at our beautiful retreat, Shadowood Lodge. Spaces will be limited so stay tuned!!!

The Value of Life Coaching and Discernment

2010-06-06T06:45:00.000-07:00

I am dismayed by the way that the Life Coaching field has inundated us with webinars and teleconferences, each time offering us a more clear and concise picture of "who we really are" and promising more fulfilling lives. Oh, and by the way, the webinar or teleconference is a mere cost of $----. This is all very lovely. Someone hundreds, maybe thousands of miles away will be giving me guideposts to myself for a nominal charge.

Wait. What is wrong with this picture?

First of all, I will be talked "at" in such a setting. I will not be talked "with." The lovely thoughts and phrases I will be hearing I can glean from any number of books out there. I already know what they are going to say, although maybe if I hear it one more time.... I have already been reading those books, watching those "free" seminars, waiting to discover that hidden key to myself. However, these people don't know ME, don't know what I stand for, what I want, have not walked in my shoes. How will they tell me any more than I already know?

Surprised? Yes, we already "know" the answers. Platitudes will not help me discover myself. Only time WITH myself, quiet, honest, supported time, will help me remember my own answers. It is time we stop asking for the answers in the wrong places. It is time we come together in authentic, mutual support where we can create the space for our own inner knowing.

The value of true life coaching is to "be" with another supportive individual or group that can support me in remembering my truth in a world where I can easily be distracted from that knowledge. In a cooperative alliance, it means that the nice platitudes mean nothing if I cannot embody them and put the emotion behind the words. The emotion brings the knowledge into motion. In a supportive, safe environment, I can truly be supported in my journey. Nobody else holds the key, no matter how much money I give them. It was here all the time.

I just need someone to help remind me....

Learning by Experience

2010-06-01T04:35:00.000-07:00

Equine assisted learning is an experiential process. To be in the moment with a profoundly intuitive, 1,000 pound facilitator moves us along the spectrum of self-discovery at a far quicker and more meaningful pace than sitting and talking from our intellect, or reading a book of someone else's words. Experiencing an in-the-moment response to our own energetic bubble of "now" reality, there cannot be the excuses, defenses, hidden agendas or flat out dark places that we want so badly to hide. The horse is the quintessential arbitrator of the real and now without judgment or illusion. Non-verbal communication is the world of the horse and they react flawlessly to that language. The horse will challenge what the intellect will try to hide behind a mask of incongruency. And, with challenge, comes change.

Real life solution is the orientation of EAP. The horse knows nothing of your past, cares nothing of your self-judgments or disfunctional childhood, but reacts to the you who shows up. This can be a profound mirror in the wake of much self delusion. In work with the horses, we believe you are the answer to your own questions, that you hold the key, and, if left to your own open heart and soul, have your own solutions with the assistance of gentle guidance. The horse will respond to the non-verbal cues that have enabled him to survive for millions of years. That intuitive part of the brain has been hidden behind the human's neocortex in favor of dealing with a world that is caught up in the intellect. The intellect can be a tricky place to sort out our emotions and feelings. That is the power of the horse as facilitator.

In a world where we are rife with struggle, it is more imperative than ever for us to react in the present, let go of judgment and present ourselves authentically in our own lives and our reactions to others. At this time in our history, it is most important for us to see our interrelatedness to all of life and to act accordingly. The horses can help us remember what we have forgotten. That our real place of change is now, not yesterday or tomorrow. It is a powerful lesson.

The Horse as Teacher

2010-05-07T10:30:00.000-07:00

Equine assisted learning is fast gaining recognition internationally as a whole new approach to gain insight into the human mind and body, from equine assisted psychotherapy to life coaching to hippo-therapy.

For centuries, man has been in relationship with the horse. Carl Jung suggested that horses embody one of our deepest mythological archetypes, and thus we are irresistibly drawn. But there are solid characteristics of the horse that make it a powerful mirror of human behavior.

As prey animals in the wild, their very survival has demanded any uncanny hyper vigilance toward danger. Horses must rely on a finely tuned sixth sense to their surroundings. Add to this a nearly 360 degree circumference of vision, a monitoring system that can detect as subtle a nuance as the blood pressure of a human, or the intent of a predator, the horse responds in the here and now to the immediacy of the situation. The human rarely responds to the world in such an intuitive way. Yet, the horse does not judge, has no expectations or prejudices, and meets and responds to the human where they are. They mirror back the human behind the social mask.

As creatures that are driven by the energetic intention of the world around them, horses have acute reflexes and a finely tuned nervous system. Nonetheless, in a normal state of grazing, or "being", a horse spends much of his day in the relaxed Alpha state. As humans pursue a fast paced life in the Beta state, the horse will react to and mirror our impatience and frustration which we have become so anesthetized to. Work with horses allows us to acknowledge many of the unseen cues of our everyday stress and busyness, or the in-congruency between our happy face and the unhappiness behind the face.

To be truly content and successful in life, there must be a balance between our intellectual life and our emotional life. Horses can help us find that balance and bridge the gap between the life of the probable and a life of the possible by sharing with us the honesty in their non-verbal communication.

Our relationship with the horse has been one of transportation, beast of burden, warrior and ego booster in competition. Now, the horse comes as a gift to our psyche, to teach us to live in the moment, to accept ourselves and to be authentic. This powerful potential of equine assisted work is quickly being embraced throughout the world with stunning results.

Please join us to see what a horse can share with you.

Life Coaching Through the Way of the Horse

2010-04-24T06:25:00.000-07:00

What we do

At Epona Lifeworks, through small workshops or individual coaching sessions, we explore the realm of self empowerment and authenticity in our lives.

What is self empowerment?

It is an authentic relationship with ourselves and others through emotional fitness, personal congruity, and mindfulness.

Through Epona Lifeworks workshops, we engage empowerment through community building, intuition, creativity, music, writing, journaling, drama and role playing, and equine assisted experiential learning. (No prior horse experience is necessary, all of the exercises are on the ground.) An active component in our workshops is a sense of support, loving kindness and FUN. You choose your workshop companions, if you wish, or join to meet people of like mind, in a setting of friendship and a common goal of mutual personal growth.

In individual sessions, we work one on one within a coaching framework utilizing any or all of the tools above. Coaching is NOT therapy.

What skills enable us to feel whole and empowered?

* Self esteem (knowing and accepting who we are)

* Confidence (showing up authentically in the world)

* Boundary Setting (honoring our own limitations and those of others)

* Emotional Agility (being able to roll with the punches or changing perspective)

* Goal Setting (visualizing and establishing a game plan)

* Action (moving toward our greater good with joy)

These skills, which can be difficult to explore in a conventional classroom or counseling session, have far-ranging applications that are linked to increased success in personal growth, relationships, career and parenting. Horse-facilitated and experiential activities help people recognize and move beyond the coping strategies associated with surviving in a competitive world. Participants develop a thriving mind set capable of endless compassion, innovation, energy adaptability, and creativity.